"Some parent-child pairing are and easy fit, and some are not. When there is not a good fit, children can end up feeling defective in some way, not entitled to claim and pursue their own interests and goals, paving the way for procrastination."

"Researchers who studied parent-child attachment patterns found that parents who were attuned to their children as little as 30 percent of the time were able to foster secure emotional attachments in their children."

"When your self-system is too rigid, you hold yourself fast to the perfectionist demands that lead to procrastination; you keep doing the same thing over and over, whether it's working or not; your expectations of others are unyeilding; and you experience inner turmoil when you assume life will be a certain way, and it  just isn't. At the other extreme, a chaotic self-system reflects disorganization. When you're confused about who you are and what you want, torn by distress and conflict, or lost in the last-minute frenzy of procrastination, you are not functioning in an intrepid way."

"Procrastinators may feel so guilty for lost time that they pressure themselves to use every minute productively, only to find that they have set up impossible expectations."

"You may feel too guilty to ask for help. You may believe that because you've been Very Bad (caps are sic), you now have to be Very Good to make up for it. You may feel that you don't deserve to be helped, so you can't delegate or rely on others. Refusing help is a good way to procrastinate yourself into martyrdom."

"If you are stuck in the past, you can't enjoy the present of plan for the future. If you're stuck in the present, you're at the mercy of the immediate moment, with no connection to past and future; you can't benefit from your experience. If you are stuck in the future, you're locked in a world of fantasy, either positive or negative, and all you do is plan or worry."

"Procrastination may be a reflection of our feeling overwhelmed by too much, or it may express a yearning for something we are missing."

"Procrastination is often a way of retreating from challenges; instead, remember that tackling challenges can benefit you. Does this challenge stretch you? Does it help you develop and grow?"




These last ones are more about development stuff, but I found it interesting because there is a lot of research that also shows babies will not learn a language from a TV, radio, any other mechanical device. I think this says a lot about how we learn (i.e. we must have some sort of interaction to learn "passively") and what "innate language" might look like. This is important to me because of being amid scholars who seem to think rigid structure rules are the innate things, rather than the social pattern building things.



"We know now that the brain is wired to be 'ultra social.' It literally grows and develops in response to the way we are responded to by the people who care for us."

From Wikipedia:

Types of procrastinators

[edit] The relaxed type

The relaxed type of procrastinators view their responsibilities negatively and avoid them by directing energy into other tasks. It is common, for example, for relaxed type procrastinating children to abandon schoolwork but not their social lives. Students often see projects as a whole rather than breaking them into smaller parts. This type of procrastination is a form of denial or cover-up; therefore, typically no help is being sought. Furthermore, they are also unable to defer gratification. The procrastinator avoids situations that would cause displeasure, indulging instead in more enjoyable activities. In Freudian terms, such procrastinators refuse to renounce the pleasure principle, instead sacrificing the reality principle. They may not appear to be worried about work and deadlines, but this is simply an evasion of the work that needs to be completed.^[12]

[edit] The tense-afraid type

The tense-afraid type of procrastinators usually feel overwhelmed with pressure, unrealistic about time, uncertain about goals, and many other negative feelings. They may feel a sense of malaise. Feeling that they lack the ability or focus to successfully complete their work, they tell themselves that they need to unwind and relax, that it's better to take it easy for the afternoon, for example, and start afresh in the morning. They usually have grandiose plans that aren't realistic. Their 'relaxing' is often temporary and ineffective, and leads to even more stress as time runs out, deadlines approach and the person feels increasingly guilty and apprehensive. This behavior becomes a cycle of failure and delay, as plans and goals are put off, pencilled into the following day or week in the diary again and again. It can also have a debilitating effect on their personal lives and relationships. Since they are uncertain about their goals, they often feel awkward with people who appear confident and goal-oriented, which can lead to depression. Tense-afraid procrastinators often withdraw from social life, avoiding contact even with close friends.^[12]